Helen Joy’s Photography Blog

Helen Joy George 2/14/15 Helen Joy George 2/14/15

to my sullivan love on his fourth birthday

Oh my funny valentine... You are (sigh)...You are like the warmest sweet breeze on my cold heart.

You are the absolute picture of tenderness.

View More: http://wildflowersphotos.pass.us/george

Your heart spills out love on all around you.

Pictures above by Joy Prouty

Pretty much every single time I tell someone about you, I tear up. Because you, my dear, you nearly weren't with us.

I don't look back on your birthwith fuzzy feelings but instead feel a panic in my heart as I remember when they took your limp body to the side to get you to breathe. I don't remember much until early the next morning when I was finally mentally able to get it together to hold you and nurse you and look at you.

And then we fell in love...

Following 2 pictures by Joy Prouty

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You were born after the hardest year of our lives. Deaths and miscarriage and illness and just pure sadness. And you were our breath of warm air and as I often refer to you, the balm of my broken heart.

You are my snuggler and every single day, you need it...just like I do.

Waking up to, "Oh mama, you're so warm (pronounced waaaa-ymmmmm). Let's snuggle" is kind of the best.

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This year, you wore you bike helmet everywhere and I just ate it up.

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You dote on your big brother to a fault. I honestly can't believe how willing you are to share and give to him when he is so mean to you sometimes! But you are. You regularly give your very best "things" to him.

You are FUNNY. Like naturally hilarious and you don't even try.

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I've love love loved seeing you be a big brother to LM this year. Barclay is in school most of the day and you are really stepping up to the plate. You are so gentle with her and have actually started playing with her. It melts my heart!

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Your favorite activity IN THE WORLD is to light and relight a candle to blow out.

Your best buddy is Jude and ya'll just crack me up together. You pretty much never fight.

Actually come to think of it, you pretty much never fight with anyone (other than Barclay).

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You're a lover. A valentine in the flesh.

You are painfully handsome and your big brown eyes are like bottomless inkwells. And you can basically get away with anything if you slow blink your thick lashes at me.

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Your new thing this year is helping me cook. You are very helpful with anything I ask you for and I think you'll make someone a pretty rad husband one day!

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Sullivan, your heart is one of the most beautiful hearts. You allow me to feel things with you,emotionally, that my other babies don't. You have that deep, slow passion inside of you like I do. I think you are a work of art and I cannot wait to see you grow this next year.

Thank you for never denying me a tender hug or ever letting me go a day without hearing your contagious giggle.

I'm so glad I'm your mama.

Helen Joy George 2/4/15 Helen Joy George 2/4/15

to barclay on his sixth birthday

Oh my darling boy...My first born baby, 6 years ago they placed you into my arms.

I don't exactly want to say it went by so fast, because in a way I cannot remember life without you in it.

More so, I think I'm astounded by how much you've grown and changed since I first met you.

I thought, as a first time parent that I would shape you...but my dearest one, you have shaped me.

You have taught me everything I know about being a mother. It has been hard at times. I have wanted to run far away, at times. But it is the most worthy thing I have ever done.

This year was a big year for you.

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You started kindergarten at a spanish emersion program in our local school.

I was so afraid.

I felt so guilty that I was maybe ruining you.

Or that our lack of nature journaling free living homeschooling would make you hate learning.

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But you flew! You took off and love learning so much. Your teachers say you run into school every single day eager and full of sunshine.

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You grew out of your very loved 2T clothing just in the past few months. You're a tiny spitfire of a boy (just like your mama).

You love dressing yourself and proudly march into public wearing the craziest outfits. I love that. I love letting you do your thing.

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I cannot believe how much you and Sullivan fight and yet how tenderly you love each other. You look out for each other. Ever since Sullivan was born you've shared a room and it was NOT EASY. As soon as we move into a house big enough for each of you to have your own room, you refuse to sleep anywhere but wrapped up in eachother's arms.

I'm completely in love with it.

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You love Lucy Miller. You squeal with delight at her new tricks and tell anyone who will listen that your baby can walk, or your baby can talk. You carry her around (maybe a little too much for my liking), but you are vigilant about taking legos out of her mouth and making sure she is happy. I love watching you hold her.

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I see glimmers of myself in you.

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You just keep getting better. Even though part of my heart sinks at the thought of leaving milestones in our wake, you honestly just keep getting better.

These are some of my favorite things about you now:

Your freckles.

Your facial expressions.

Your deep questions about life and God.

Your care for others and your justice loving heart.

How much you don't care what anyone thinks of you.

I love when you get so lost in play that you just babble on and on.

I love watching you write letters and art projects, you are so very serious and concentrated and your tiny tongue sticks out on the side, like it always has.

You are a miraculous work dear Barclay.

I am just giddy for the year ahead and seeing how you grow and what you will do.

I'm so glad you know how much I love you,

Your Mama

Last two photos by the artist Joy Prouty.

www.helenjoy.com

Helen Joy George 1/31/15 Helen Joy George 1/31/15

my darling wildflowers

Several years ago, I started following the most adorable mom on Instagram. She was ripe with her 4th child and I was drawn to her artistic images of every day life, but most of all I was drawn to her. Joy Prouty.

Years went by and I followed her family. Hardships, beauty, traveling the country in their trailer and I knew I just had to be friends with her.

I feel like in my lifetime I have yet to meet anyone who felt as deeply about life as I do, but I had a feeling that Joy did (I was right!).

When she announced she was doing a Wildflowers Workshop on a rural island in Florida, I was nursing in bed and my heart started pounding. This was my chance.

I headed into the workshop feeling pretty strongly that I knew what it would be. I didn't think it would be a very classroom like setting, I knew we would all probably share heartaches and joys and cry a lot. As the oldest of 5 girls, throughout my life I have found groups of women sharing together to always be very powerful. I knew it would be like this. Embarrassingly I didn't care one flip about photography. I just wanted to be Joy's true life friend and sleep all night for a few nights!

What I didn't expect was not only becoming bosom friends with Joy, but making 17 other bosom friends. True blue bosom friends.

Take 17 women from all walks of life and put them into a room...

I try not to judge, but I can't help it sometimes.

The girl from Charlotte who has two puppy children and always posts ridiculously perfect tablescapes and gourmet food, even days after moving homes. I kind of resented her before I even met her! Her and her perfect life. But oh how I loved her from the moment we met. Spunky and sweet and genuine and so so sooo funny.

We are having a sleepover next week.

Then there was the "have it all together" photographer who was so on point with every little trick of the trade, who I saw break down (in a good way) and find bits of herself I think she hadn't seen in years.

The mother of 4 who I bonded so deeply over the part of our hearts that were broken after deciding not to have more children, she didn't even strike me as the kind of person that would want to be my friend. She was steady and mature and pleasantly calm. The kind of mother we all wish we had...but I found myself texting her late into the night the day before my last baby's birth day. Because she was the only one that understood. I love her so much it hurts!

I could go on forever about each and every treasure I befriended.

Although I'm quite familiar with the bonding of women together, Joy facilitated such genuine sharing of our souls. I can't even describe it. I didn't feel alone. In fact, I felt so supported and loved and encouraged. Probably more than I have ever felt in my life. In a room of deep feelers just like me.

Woman by woman we bared our souls and then that second night we all stripped down naked and yelled our fears into the sea and ran into it holding hands.

I love to just be. I have a hard time taking pictures when I'm experiencing something so personal. So I don't have a lot from our time together but these images just give a feel of what the worksop was like.

In the end,

I was nourished as an artist, and even given the permission to use that word! I learned technical things about photography that is taking me to the next level where I can be confident. I learned about my worth and how to price myself where time away from my family wasn't wasted. I ate and felt cared for and laughed and cried enough for a year. It was a turning point in my life and I am forever grateful.