Helen Joy’s Photography Blog

Helen Joy George 3/11/15 Helen Joy George 3/11/15

holland's story | a surrogate birth

I love stories. Always have and always will.

And I have found my perfect niche in which to use my art and words to tell them.

Birth stories are always my very favorite to tell. The totally unpredictable nature, the raw emotions (as if the camera isn’t there), and the love. Oh the love!

More than a year ago I got an email from a local girl who said she was in the process of becoming a surrogate and wanted to hire me. She said she knew the story needed to be told through pictures and she knew (even though there was no baby yet) that I was the one to tell it.

(chills)

And on a cold February morning, with a gleaming full moon that hadn’t gone to bed yet, I was able to do just that.

This is a very special story. Two paths woven together to form a bond that will not break. The story of two families and their journey to bringing home a baby girl.

This is Holland’s story.

______

This is Peter and Megan and their son Eli.

Although you wouldn't know by watching them all run around and play together, Megan nearly lost her life when she gave birth to Eli 3 years ago. Months in the hospital, unable to see or hold her baby for weeks. It was incredibly traumatic.

When it came to having another baby, Megan carrying the baby was out of the question and so they pursued surrogacy.

If you are unsure of what surrogacy is, Megan explained it to me in the cutest way. It's like making a casserole in your home, using your ingredients and then taking it to someone else's home to bake it in their oven.

I just love that!

And here is their "oven" Jessica.

Jessica is one of the kindest, most humble, and most giving woman I know. She has two children of her own and she and her husband decided that they wanted to help someone grow their family.

And so their paths collided.

Before I met with both families, I couldn't help but think that it might be slightly awkward. I was so unfamiliar with surrogacy and most of what I knew was from negative articles or snippets on television. But I was proven SO wrong within minutes of watching them all interact together.

I can't quite explain it, but these families just go together. Like they were meant to be together from before the beginning of time. There was no awkward sidesteppings or awkward silences. There was just complete joy and gratefulness for all involved.

And these two women. Their bond is stronger than sisters. I watched them giggle and chat while their children played together in the distance and tears just welled up in my eyes.

On the day Holland was born, it was decided that she would come by way of c-section. The families gathered and there was a different feeling in the air. Such anticipation and also a little bit of breath holding. I knew that as we got closer to the OR that the events of Eli's birth would come pouring in.

I wasn't able to be in the OR but I was right outside of it and got to hear their exclamations of "It's a girl!" and "Look at those cheeks!" through a crack in the door.

At first, I was slightly saddened that I wasn't able to capture those first few moments but it suddenly hit me after they were done with surgery, that I had a very important job to do. To capture those first few moments of bonding for Jessica. Because I know that throughout all the months of morning sickness and being uncomfortable, she was picturing this joy.

One of my very favorite moments of the day was, in the nursery, Peter called the surgeon who saved Megan's life on the operating table 3 years ago, and thanked her and told her they had named their healthy baby girl after her Holland "Montgomery".

(tears, tears and more tears!)

In the end, I witnessed both women in tears, just grateful. Jessica gave the greatest gift of life and Megan so gracefully received it with such genuine gratitude.

To be witness to such selflessness is inspiring.

Thank you to both families for trusting me enough to capture their story. . I can't wait to continue to watch as Holland grows and as your families draw closer to one another through the years.

www.helenjoy.com

Helen Joy George 3/8/15 Helen Joy George 3/8/15

the gillespie family | asheville, north carolina

Nothing feels as lovely as having someone truly believe in your vision and what spills out of your heart and into your art.

Elizabeth is a friend like that. We’ve been friends for 10 years and as I’ve grown and found my voice she has been there for me cheering me on and telling me that what I have to say is important and needed.

Elizabeth and Jeramy moved a year and a half ago to Colorado with their son Max and pretty much immediately they got pregnant with their twin girls.

With a move and two new additions, they were running on very little sleep and pretty much never having space or time for themselves (I know a lot how that feels).

They came back “home” to visit last month and I was able to make that space for them. To allow the chaos to be translated clearly to the beautiful, intentional family that they are.

These images are some of my favorite I've ever taken. There is breath and movement and so very much love infused into each shot.

I hope you enjoy!

And here are our six children before we went to dinner.

Oh sweet friends, what a priveldge to capture this time of your lives for you. Keep on keeping on!

www.helenjoy.com

Helen Joy George 2/18/15 Helen Joy George 2/18/15

finding the beauty in a hard life

I’m having a love hate relationship with my phone lately. It’s about 50/50 on the good/bad chart.

I cannot stand how often I look at it. Literally hundreds of times a day, leaving almost no time for just being still.

I’m learning how much that lack of being still and quiet is killing me slowly from the inside out. I realize how dissatisfied I have become with my life NOT because of what I am viewing on my phone but because of what I am missing because of it.

Real beautiful life. Moments with my children. Nature. Thoughts. Inklings in my heart.

But I also want to embrace the beauty of social media. I mean, in a way I think social media has saved my sanity. Deep connections in a lonely time of life when the daily grind of staying home with constant needs from little ones has saved me.

Not only that, but it has spurred me on to find beauty in whatever life gives me.

The most common complaint I hear from all my friends regarding social media is that it makes them feel not enough or jealous of the seemingly perfect life that many people portray through Facebook or instagram.

Here’s what I have to say about that. Yes. You could view it that way...

“Oh look at so and so doing a craft with their kid while I’m over here drowning in laundry and depression”.

Or you could view it like this.

“Wow. I know having a child is NOT EASY. I bet she has laundry waiting all around here but she chose to set things aside and do something for her child.”

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I have seen women with nearly NO earthly possessions find beauty in a simple twig in a simple vase.

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I’ve seen women I know who struggle with depression choosing to see beauty in the shadows that the sun brings in.

I see people who I know who’s hearts are breaking, finding joy in simple things. Who simply choose to keep on keeping on.

It makes me want to keep trying, keep finding beauty in my own life.

And on hard days when I feel like I will royally screw up my children, I glance through the images on my Instagram feed. I don’t see fake happiness. I see real moments throughout a hard and painful life that I chose to see the beauty.

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This post has been brewing in my heart for a few weeks now. And last night my

blossom friend Joy

, posted

the most eloquently written words

regarding something similar.

I love how she describes it as looking for the breadcrumbs.

So friends, if looking through social media makes you feel worse about yourself, you are either following the wrong people, or you are choosing to not celebrate with them that they are able to find the beauty.

It is there. Sometimes it is hard to see but it. is. there.

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And I just want to thank those around me for not being fake but for celebrating the tiny moments of joy and perseverance that you show me every day.

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