Honoring the past and rolling grape leaves | multigenerational family reunion

In 1903, Hanna Makhoul Fakhoury left Roum, Lebanon and got on a boat to America in search of a better life for his family. Coming through Ellis Island his name became John Mack and he settled in Mooresville, North Carolina. For 25 years, his descendants have held reunions to gather all the cousins and celebrate their family story.

Last year I came to the realization that I wanted to photograph MORE. While people were messaging me about mini sessions every fall, I was, in fact, wanting to do longer sessions, sessions where I put my camera down and hear stories, sessions spanning generations, and sessions where I could preserve nostalgia as best as I can.

A client/friend of mine was listening to me as I processed this out loud and she heard me—she petitioned her extended family to hire me for their bi-annual family reunion.

I’ve been to family reunions before but nothing could have prepared me for the richness of legacy that I saw from the Mack family. From intergenerational grape leaf rolling, to a walk around town visiting old homes and ancestral graves, I was so touched with the way this family weaves in history for the children. One little girl stood on the grave of a family member for which she was named, tiny hands mimicked motions as they rolled grape leaves with their Sitti (grandmother), and my friend retold the John Mack story to the youngest generation. The whole weekend was filled with the most incredible Lebanese food and lots of laughter.

I was honored to capture this incredible and rare celebration. The last evening, when I was headed home, I called a few of my cousins, trying to start the conversation of hosting a celebration for my own family.

I feel called to this work of preserving heritage and legacy.

Do you have a family story you want to tell?

Text me at 828-329-3969 or email me at photographybyhelenjoy@gmail.com to chat about how I can help document the beauty of your own family.

what to wear for a photo session?

The number one thing people ask me when they book a session with me is “What do we wear?”

I used to brush off the question with

“Wear whatever you feel comfortable in!” or “It doesn’t matter!” 

However, in my 20 years of making photos I’ve realized that talking about what to wear before a session can majorly reduce stress for my clients and just a little bit of input can help make my photos interesting, layered, and authentic. 

Here are my top suggestions for feeling comfortable, confident, and yourself for a photoshoot.

* Don’t be afraid of texture, prints, and layers. 

Linen and cotton are my favorite to photograph in the warmer months and in the cooler months I am drawn to knits and flannel.  Don’t be afraid to wear prints that make you happy or to mix prints.  I love a small floral print with a plaid flannel.  Layering can add some dimension and interest to your photos.  Think a cozy sweater over a dress to make it feel less formal. If possible it’s not to have someone wearing something that doesn’t visually cut the body in half (ie don’t have everyone in jeans and a t shirt).

*Shop your closet first. 

There’s nothing wrong with buying some new things for your session but start in your closet first.  Find the pieces you gravitate to and have history with.  Wear your grandmother’s earrings, or that dress your husband lights up when you wear it.    

I love sessions where kids wear their favorite t-shirt, or a tattered tutu.  I can always tell in photos when someone just went to tj max and got everyone something brand new.  Shopping your closet first gives you a jump start on capturing authentic images in your session.  

*Don’t try to be something you’re not. 

I personally love dresses, and I love photographing dresses because of the movement.  But if wearing a dress makes you feel awkward and fake because you’re a jeans and tshirt girl, don’t do it.  If your dad is going to complain the whole time because he’s wearing an itchy sweater, don’t make him.  Who cares how so and so’s photos look, these are your photos, with you in them.  So embrace who you are.

*Wear something that you feel good in at all angles. 

This is not the time to try to squeeze into something that doesn’t fit.  Being photographed in a  photo documentary style or with small children means you aren’t going to be posing and giving just the right angles.  So if you only look good sucking in and giving just the right 45 degree angle to the camera, choose something else. If you don’t love your arms, don’t wear something sleeveless, if you’re sensitive about your belly, don’t wear something you have to suck in to feel confident in.

*Colors don't matter as much as you think they do. 

I always choose texture above color and so a session of mostly neutrals can still feel interesting to me.  Take note of what your background is going to be.  Wearing bright green in the summer isn’t going to pop the same way as wearing white in the snow or orange or red in the fall kind of blends in.  Choosing a few colors that blend well together is great instead of feeling tied to one or two colors.  Don’t overthink it. 

Lastly, if these suggestions make you feel confident and relaxed…that is awesome!  But if following rules stresses you wear whatever you feel like!

Want to make some authentic, priceless photos with me? Send me a message HERE

to sullivan on his 13th birthday

Dear giant, taller than me, grown man valentine child,

You tower over me now. I cannot believe 13 years ago you were so tiny and new and now when you hug me you have to hunch over. In the past 3 months you have grown SO tall, your voice is SO deep, and you just aren’t a little boy anymore! Sometimes I have to remember you’re not a grown adult! Ha!

Well we’ve has a lot of quality time this year…in the ER. In the past few months you have slipped and fallen on a mason jar and cut the side of your butt so deep that you had to get stitches…this happened when I wasn’t home-your brother saved the day with a belt to stop the bleeding. It was not fun. Then a few weeks ago you were playing football at school at lunch and someone tackled you and you broke your pelvis! But the crazy thing is you walked around on it for a few hours and by the time you got home it was hurting pretty bad. After a chiro visit we thought it was sciatica and so I was forcing you to stretch it for 4 days! You got really, really bad and I’ve never seen a human not about to give birth in so much pain. Broke my heart! You’re tough and quiet.

Speaking of quiet, the other day I just said to you in the kitchen

“Sully, you’re gonna have to be a squeaky wheel sometimes!”

You literally are the opposite of the other two. Quiet, a bit more chill, and kind of an inward processor. I don’t want you to get so middle childed here but I think it’s happening by default.

I adore you the way you are. I love how quiet you are but then you pop up with these insanely hilarious one liners. You still love and find animals everywhere you go, especially (to my horror) snakes. You are so into fishing right now and go every chance you get.

It kind of bothers me that authority figures often talk to me about you having the potential to be a leader. I don’t think the world should be made up of all leaders, we wise followers and that is my prayer for you. That you will follow the right people or follow your own self.

Right now you are at the most awkward and hilarious stage. Like 3 months ago I had to force you to shower and now you fix your hair and shop for cologne. Lucy got you old lady curlers as a joke for Christmas and you wore them for real. Cracked me up. You also seem to be trying on all kinds of personas, just finding your way like we all do. I hope that over this next year you find you don’t have to become anything, that you are your own kind of magic we all need.

Your dad took you to Hawaii this December and it you haven’t been the same since. It was paradise for you. You even did a very, very intense 9 mile hike.

You played football and ended up playing quarterback about half the time. You were SO SO good at it. You’re just so un-assuming I think it shocked people. You were steady and didn’t rush and threw some amazing touch downs.

Finding photos felt sooooo painful (like growing pains painful). Here’s something I noticed. That photos after Jimmy came…your little spark came back. Actually, to be honest…I almost broke up with him after our 2nd date and he mentioned how much he loved hunting for salamanders at the river and he had that same twinkle you used to get. I suddenly starting thinking…wait a minute, this guy could be more than just for me. The day I introduced you all we went to the river and both of you were gone in your own little worlds. I have seen that spark come back more and more and more ever since.

This past weekend you had a man date and found the perfect cologne for the school dance next weekend.

I love you so very much. I am pretty positive you’re gonna live your life on the beach somewhere fishing and enjoying the slow life. You joke you’re gonna find a wife who makes a good living so you can just fish.

I’m so glad you’re here, you’re a breath of fresh air to this family of deep feelers and fast movers.

Love Mama