april | sacred roots

The dream of my life

is to lie down by a slow river

And stare at the light in the trees-

To learn something by being nothing

-Mary Oliver

One fall day in the dreamy fog, I met April by my favorite tree, by my favorite river. April is a fellow artist and photographer and to have her come to me for sacred roots pictures was such a thrill. When I asked her more about why she was wanting them done now she simply said “I want them for my boys to see their mama IN the lens, but mostly it is incredibly freeing and a huge act of self love to do photos just of me and for me.”

When I started with sacred roots sessions, many years ago, I wanted it to be about so much more than the pictures. I wanted it to be about the experience. The cold water on your feet and the dirt in your hair. The way it felt to be really you in a moment (not mama, not wife, not your career). Just you. I wanted the moments to be sacred and soul filling.

My time with April was soul filling to me. She wove a wreathe of goldenrod and read aloud to me from her beloved Mary Oliver book. The tender words blending with the river to produce the sweetest song. She ventured into the freezing water and leaned into the roots of the trees that towered above. It was truly sacred.

I love the images we captured together. I’m usually a black and white gal but I can't resist the color in this series. I can see April one day, gathered with her children and grandchildren around her album, lovingly touching the images of youth and wonder, with choruses of “yep that’s our mama alright.”

sacred roots.

to sullivan on his tenth birthday

Oh my boy,

10 years ago you came into this world and captured my heart. I’ve never known a love like yours. It’s as deep as the pools of your eyes and as hopeful as a bubbling spring. You are such balm to my heart.

This year you grew and grew and grew and grew. You are wearing size small mens clothing now. The funny thing is that you are still such an innocent boyish sort of boy inside of a small man’s body. You’re always creating and playing like a 10 year old should. Your creations are so magical and innovative. I’m very sure that you will be something creative when you are grown up.

This year you had a lot of orthodontics done to your mouth. So much metal. So much discomfort. But you had such a good attitude. As your jaw moved your face changed so drastically and much of your babyness just melted away. You also hit yourself in the mouth with a golf club and chipped your front tooth in half! I cried so hard. You’ve taken it in stride.

You are still our little animal lover. When it’s warm outside I can always find you with your hands in the water or dirt trying to catch little creatures. You are especially enamored with snakes and we always have a trap set in our driveway in hopes that one will crawl in. This year our neighbor is letting you help take care of her horse and you are able to ride him often. I’m so proud of how responsible you are becoming.

We homeschooled this year and you LOVE it. You are begging to do it again next year. I think that it doesn’t hurt that we learn a lot about animals. I’ve loved watching you grow in your love of learning.

This past year I had the goal to climb a mountain near my house 52 times. You were my biggest cheerleader and scaled it with me many times. You proudly tell people “My mama climbs mountains". It fills me right up.

You are the most tenderhearted of my children. You are a peacemaker. It’s not easy being in the middle but you hold the role well.

You play guitar and crack me up because you’re wanting to learn the most random songs (like Shakira’s Hips Don’t Lie). I love finding you bent over the guitar practicing.

Sullivan, I have failed you many, many times this past year and you are always there to give me forgiveness even when I don’t deserve it. Your heart is so very pure.

You are light and we need you, dear one. You are important and treasured by all who know you. When I look into your sparkling eyes I see kindness that gives to everyone it knows. We are all lucky to love you.

Stay boyish in wonder my son,

Your Mama

the martinez family | el mirage lake, ca

I came at the worst time. Or so I thought.

Right before a move into her parent’s house, their dream home and land in escrow. The limbo was palatable, the future unclear.

Mama had a 12 week baby in her belly, a miracle after a tubal reversal just months before. She was green in the mornings and tired in the evenings.

But there was magic there in their temporary home. There was laughter and good food and tenderness. There was dancing till you’re exhausted on the floor and listening to your baby’s heartbeat on the couch.

I stayed with this family for 3 days and was a fly on the wall to so many holy moments. Papa towered over me and yet I found him too many times to count kneeling in front of his children. Mama could be found in the mornings tangled in the limbs of her babies. So. Much. Love.

One of the days I was there, we drove out to the lake bed at El Mirage, and in the most sherbert-y lighting and they did what they love till the sun set over the mountains.

These photos, they remind me that home is your people and not a place, and that things don’t have to be perfect to be worth documenting.

Enjoy a little peek into the life of the Martinez family of six.