to lucy miller on her 4th birthday

my gift,

I know you have some incredible reasons for being born but one of them is for sure showing me up close and personal that God cares deeply for me.  You fulfill even the wildest of yearnings of my heart.  You are joy and sunshine.  Your sparkly dark eyes are full of adventure and brimming with courage.  

You still let me dress you up like my own personal baby doll.  Although I fear that soon you're going to have a lot more to say about things.

This year we took you to Costa Rica.  It was your second time going-first was in my 7 month pregnant belly.  While we were there you ran barefoot and naked feeding monkeys and digging in the sand.  A little brown beach baby.

Your words are changing.  It makes me sad!  I keep jotting down any word I remember to write down phonetically.  Some of my favorites are:

"I'm gonna win ya!" 

"Attending" (pretending)

"Not yeady"

You and your brothers.  I crack up so much that with these two crazy rule them.  One there was a lot of arguing in the back seat and the boys were fussing at each other.  You were in the middle of them and would randomly hit them in the face with the back of your hand and without even blinking.  You are TOUGH.  

The boys ADORE you.  They are competing constantly for "best bwudder".  Throughout the day this changes.  "Barclay you are being mean.  Sullivan is my best bwudder."  "Oh Sullivan I love this flower!  You're my best bwudder."  And then theres often when you declare your love for both at once and everyone melts.

When I drop you off at preschool (always a bit late since you are NOT a morning person), all your little friends are waiting at the door for you and a mass cheer happens when you walk up.  At least one pretend play idea is ready and waiting for you to step in as bride, queen, mother, etc.  You are beloved.

It is really special being your mama.  If I walk just 4 feet behind you it's like watching a rainbow part the dead sea.  Everyone that sees you smiles, maybe even giggles.  Hard hearts are melted, smile lines are wrinkled.  Once in Target you declared in the produce section that you were "DYING for a carrot."  Three women almost fell on the ground they were giggling so hard.  I took you to the nutcracker for Christmas and you wore the little tutu I got at a yard sale.  I felt like you were Shirley Temple walking through.  Everyone was in awe of your beauty and your bursting with life self.  

I look forward to another year of watching you unfold.  You are a rare and precious gift to this undeserving Mama.  

I love you so deeply my words couldn't even say it.