to lucy miller on her seventh birthday

Oh my darling,

You. You are a flower that wont stop blooming. I think I’ve reached the cusp of how radiant you are and still you bloom. I CAN believe that it’s been seven years since they put you, so tiny and new, into my aching arms. I can believe it because I can barely remember my life without you in it.

This year the world collapsed. You went from being a thriving Kindergartner, speaking Spanish with all your amigos and loving life, to online learning that Mama baaaaarely did because she was trying to help your brothers. You love people and being isolated at home has just broken your little heart. We started 1st grade by homeschooling and you’ve done well…you’re a wiz at math and a lucky guesser at reading. Speaking of reading, your Jojo gave you lessons and taught you to read your first book. No matter how much you like homeschool, you’re always wanting to go back to school to be with friends.

This year you biked and roller bladed almost as much as you walked. I let you skate inside and you would do laps around the house while I did chores. I think you are too cute for words to even capture.

This year you’ve had LOTS of quality time with your brothers. LOTS of good and LOTS of hard. You are a scrappy little thing and hold you own like a boss when it comes to them messing with you. I secretly love it when you smack one of them if they’re annoying you on purpose. Don’t tell anyone that though.

You and I have so many fun things we play. We play salon in the bath, where you’re a mind reading hair dresser and I’m soon to be bride. You made up a secret language you call “Jesus language” and you speak it to me at night. You help me get ready for date nights with bated breath and you love anything sparkly and pretty. We went skinny dipping in our river, just us girls, several times…giggling the whole way. Carrying on the tradition of my childhood on the beach.

You can often be found in your daddy’s arms, nestled snug as can be. You both adventure a lot together and even came upon a family of bears once. Your eyes shone so brightly as you told me of the experience. He delights in you and I’m glad you have that.

You took ballet this year and even had a socially distanced recital at a park. You dance everywhere and you are GOOD AT IT. You are so graceful, keep the beat just right and have a flair for emotion. I well up with tears when you dance. It’s like watching art that lived inside of me.

This year we got to know our neighbor and she lets us ride her horse. You love taking care of Danny and you looooove Miss Judy. Some times you go a’ visiting without us even knowing. You carry on conversations like a little adult.

This year brought mighty power from you. I am determined to not crush it…after all one day you will be a 30 year old woman in desperate need of it. But I’m working on gently helping you harness it. You are a force but I want you to be a kind and respectful force. What a balance. I thought I would be better at it than I am.

Lucy Miller, the years with you have been so rich. I feel like it has already been a life time of wonder and desperate love. You are such a gift to all who know you. You are a gift to me.

Love

Your Mama